Paris Attack and Syrian Crisis Made easy

World War 4!!

Paris attacked. Syria. ISIS. Wondering what the fuss is all about? I am providing an oversimplified, easy to understand, layman's version of what happened. Meant for Indian readers who want the Paris attack and Syrian war explained.

Imagine a badly made Bollywood movie from the 80s that is based on the script of Inception! Syrian conflict is like that. Think of Amreesh Puri, Pran, Amjad Khan,Shakti Kapoor, Danny, Gulshan Grover — All in the same film, fighting against one another. Middle east is like that. Syria especially is like that. It is a clusterfuck and anybody who tells you they know for sure who is on what side is probably just making shit up.

Let us understand the key ingredients of this conflict first. Before we start take a look at the map once:

6 key things: USA, IRAQ, Shia Vs Sunni fights, ISIS, Kurds, Arab Spring -- things that affected Syria. 

Let us glance at them one by one.

1. USA: Their policy is simple. If the ruler of a country dances to their tunes, all is good, they let him stay. If he shows the middle finger to them they suddenly feel the need to establish democracy by throwing out the dude in question. Examples? Saddam Hussein, Gaddafi.

2. Shia Vs Sunni: When Prophet Muhammad died nobody knew who his successor had to be. Group A was a bit like our Congress, it wanted the “Family” to rule (Family of prophet). Group B wanted an elected guy to rule instead. They fought. After close to 1350 years these two groups are still fighting. The groups are Shias and Sunnis, two groups of Muslims.

3. IRAQ: Saddam showed the middle finger to US. Guess what happened next? US invaded Iraq in 2003, threw him out, occupied it, destroyed the country and left in 2011. The guy who came to power was an idiot who took the Shia Sunni fight to a new level. Country was like a Prestige Cooker with bubbling Sambar inside waiting to be spilled. President who had to act like the lid of the cooker acted like an asshole instead. Riots broke out. Country became totally unstable. Result? Power vacuum. Weak military. Just what the terrorists wanted.

4. ISIS: Created in IRAQ in the situation mentioned above. Went batshit crazy. These guys were responsible for all of the beheading and massacre that pissed EVERYONE off. Even the dudes at Al-Qaeda considered these guys to be brutal. That is how crazy they are. They have captured many oil wells. You know what that means. Their goal? To rule half of the world based on some idiotic interpretation of Islam that they have. Most dangerous terrorist group on earth right now. Difference between Al-Qaeda and ISIS?
Al-Qaeda – We hate the west. Especially America.
ISIS – We will rule half the world baby!

5. Kurds: Kurds are mostly Sunni Muslims belonging to a different ethnic group(Like the Mizoram and Nagaland folks here). These are nice guys who were persecuted and oppressed everywhere. Saddam for instance killed more than 1 lakh of them. They want their own nation.

6. Arab Spring: A movement by people to throw the dictators out and bring democracy in Arab nations. Happened in Tunisia, Egypt, Yemen, Libya etc. A huge mess of civil wars and anarchy in each country that tried

Syria: A dictator called Assad rules the place. Like in a bunch of other Arab countries, the common Syrian people were all like, "Ya, we don't like our government! Things aren't fair!” They take to the streets and protest. Assad freaks out. He sends a god-damn army to shoot and kill the protesters. Hell breaks loose. What happens when fighting starts somewhere? The people who like fighting and killing go there. Every other country was like, "Hey, it sounds like there's a riot happening down the street, let's go check it out."

These were the interested parties that gathered in Syria:

Assad: Trying to save his ass with the support of army.
Moderate rebels: Syrians. People like you and me trying to bring democracy.
Armed rebels: Syrians. Dudes with Guns and bombs. Close to 40 different groups, many fighting each other.
ISIS: They wanted to rule the world remember? They want to start with Syria.
Kurds: Poor guys want a nation. See this as a good chance.
USA: Against Assad. Why? He pissed them off that is why. They support armed rebels and call them as moderate rebels J
Russia: Friends of Assad. Against all rebels. Have a naval base in Syria. Have business interests also.
Iran: Interested in the Sunni Vs Shia fight
Saudi, Qatar and UAE: Interested in the Shia Vs Sunni fights. Dudes with the money.
Turkey: Against Kurds since they want a piece of Turkey in their new nation
France: Against ISIS and Assad (This should explain why ISIS attacked them)

Countries like Canada, Australia, Jordan and Lebanon are also involved. Can you see how complicated that is? It really is a world war. Lakhs of Syrians are already killed and tens of lakhs are fleeing as refugees to Europe. Remember the photo of that 3 year old kid who drowned in sea? The photo that went viral? That was a Syrian kid.

What next?

 ISIS might attack other countries. After the French attack everyone seems to have woken up. All the biggies will now get together to crush ISIS. Other rebels might agree to negotiate. Russia might send a massive army to wipe out ISIS and crush other rebellion and try to restore peace in Syria. Let us pray for the French,Syrian and Iraqi people. Let the war end